How to Respond to Negative Comments

One of the questions I am frequently asked is how to handle a negative blog comment. Unfortunately, if you blog long enough, you will eventually receive negative comments. It’s so sad but true :(. And unfortunately negative comments can still hurt no matter how long you’ve been blogging. For example, I recently received an email from a friend who has been blogging longer than I have, receives millions of pageviews each month, and received a few negative comments on an incredibly awesome post. The comments were rude, and even though there were literally HUNDREDS of positive comments appropriately raving about her project those two negative comments stung. In fact, in a sea of positive comments negative comments stand out as unusually stinky!

So before we explore how to handle negative comments, let’s do a little profile review of the most common types of negative comments bloggers receive. And since I’m a girl who needs visuals, I’ve created the following little chart for you!

how to handle negative comments

Online communication is a tricky business ripe with misperceived comments and flagrant miscommunication. With the exception of the Troll, sometimes a perceived negative comment is simply a misguided attempt on the reader’s part to be helpful. Regardless of the motivation behind the comment, these types of comments are often perceived as negative so let’s talk about how to respond to each type. With any comment you have the following choices:

  1. Delete.
  2. Do nothing.
  3. Reply.

1. The Troll: Blatantly mean comments intended to illicit a reaction from you. This type of comment is so blatantly mean and ridiculous that the delete button is typically the best way to handle it…followed by blocking the troll’s IP address if you are able. There is no need to allow this comment to inhabit your blog or your mind. Hit delete and do not ruminate on the words intended to harm. I treat these comments the same way I would a prank caller—-hang up and don’t give them any satisfaction of engagement. But Beth, shouldn’t you stand up for yourself and let them know you’re not going to take their crap? If they are an anonymous stranger to you, then no. Delete and block and don’t waste your words or emotional energy on such nonsense. They WANT attention and engagement. Don’t give it to them. If they are a known reader or fellow blogger, then yes, tell them firmly to stop and then treat them the same as above–delete, block, and move on.

What if you see a troll attacking a friend or blogger whom you love? Shouldn’t you stand up for that friend in a comment?  I am quick tempered and feisty. I have a mouth on me, and I frequently stick my foot in it :). I am passionate and incredibly loyal to those I adore. Awhile back, a blogger I greatly admire was being viciously attacked by an anonymous blogger on one of her more personal posts. I did what any good friend would do and came to her aid. That person then turned on me and harassed me on my blog and through email for the next several months. Turns out he (not she like I had been falsely led to believe in the comment) was in no way anonymous and was actually an estranged family member of the blogger. I would have been better off staying out of it. My comment didn’t really “help” my friend, and in retrospect the troll’s attacks would have been better managed with silence and the delete button. If your friend is being trolled, text, DM, or private message her about the attack  and lend your support…but think twice before engaging the troll.

keep-calm-and-don-t-feed-the-troll

Source

2. The Where’s Waldo: Looking at your pictures for a stray sock, misplaced item, or other flaw and pointing it out to you. Why would someone bother to let you know that they noticed something imperfect about your project or picture? Isn’t that rude? Well, let’s give the Where’s Waldo the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he was just trying to be helpful. Perhaps she is relieved to know that you are human after all and that your projects, home, children, pictures, life, etc. aren’t always “picture perfect”. Perhaps pointing out the flaw is her way of just teasing and connecting with you. If you receive a Where’s Waldo comment, just assume the intentions behind the comment are pure. Laugh it off and move on.

make it a habit not to be

source

3. The English Nazi: Corrects your spelling and grammar. It’s disappointing when you work hard on a post only to receive criticism for misspellings and grammatical errors. But just like the Where’s Waldo, it’s safest to assume that the English Nazi is trying to be helpful. But what if he/she is attacking your slang and style of speaking? I like to use words like peeps, fantabulous, awesomesauce, decrapification, etc. This might drive some people crazy, but my blog is just that…mine. I like to have a conversational tone. I like to write informally. If someone asks you to stop using a certain phrase or speaking style, simply respond that you’re sad to hear that _______ is bugging them but that you hope the inspiration you offer will allow them to overlook any English fallacies committed.

grammar nazi

4. Debbie Downer/Church Lady: Dishes out negative feelings to a group and sometimes moralizations intended to one-up and shame. There is a well known term in online forums called “thread crapping” where someone enters a conversation and completely derails it by offering a comment that goes against the initial intent of the thread. Debbie Downer/Church Ladies are thread crappers and the sound “wah waaaaaah” should follow their comments. For example, let’s say you do a post about some beautiful handmade jewelry and everyone in the comment thread is excited and enthusiastic about the creations. Then Debbie Downer/Church Lady comes in and replies, “Let’s remember that 1Timothy 2:9 states, ‘women adorn themselves in decent apparel, with modesty and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.’ I think women look better without jewelry.” The comment adds nothing to the conversation and leaves a negative ickinesss in its wake. If you receive a comment like this, your relationship to the reader will determine your response. Perhaps Debbie Downer is having a really bad day and is taking it out on you. If  “Debbie” is anonymous, you might just want to delete it and move on. If it’s attached to a name and email, delete the comment and respond to her off the blog if you feel it’s necessary.

thread crapping v. Thread crapping occurs when a person comes into a thread and posts something contrary to the spirit/intent of the thread, often derailing the discussion or turning it into an argument.

5. The All-About-Me: Gets angry when your post doesn’t apply to their specific needs. We are used to being consumers. We like getting our way and we like different blogs for different reasons. If a reader adores your posts about home decor and all of a sudden you switch it up by posting recipe after recipe, that reader might let you know his/her displeasure. Try not to take it personally. If you’re a professional blogger, try and view the All-About-Me from a customer service standpoint. Respond honestly but positively to the reader, “Aw, I’m bummed to hear that you’re not enjoying my series on recipes. Although I love DIY projects, cooking is another passion of mine and this blog is all about creating and sharing my passions with all of you. Rest assured that I’ll have more DIY projects in the future, but I also plan to share recipes from time to time. I respect that food blogging might not be for everyone, but it’s something I love so I hope you’ll respect my choice to blog about it.”  Typically, this type of response is all that is needed to quiet an All-About-Me.

be nice

source

6. The One-upper: Gives you unsolicited advice and often shares something they’ve done which is bigger and better. Often times the One-upper masks their comment in language that appears neutral or even partly positive that really is a negative comment in sheep’s clothing…and sometimes (many times?) a One-upper just isn’t thinking before they speak. Give the One-upper the benefit of the doubt, have empathy, and if you need to respond, respond positively. Getting nasty or defensive will most likely lead to hurt feelings and unnecessary drama. Let it go (and vent to a girlfriend if you need to :).)

So here are my final tips on how to respond to a negative comment:

  • Are they a troll? Are they blatantly attacking you? If yes, DELETE, block, and move on. If you must reply, reply to the troll in a private message and not on your blog. Be direct and reply ONCE telling them to stop.
  • If they are not a troll, are they just being blunt, direct, and honest? Give them the benefit of the doubt (even if it’s undeserved), respond with empathy and love, and try not to take the words personally. This does NOT mean that you never stand up for yourself, or set proper boundaries, but that you do so with grace.
  • We are so used to being praised for everything we do as bloggers; however, there IS indeed room in comments for constructive criticism. Typically it is easier to hear from a friend than a stranger. If you are going to give suggestions to a blogger in areas for improvement, evaluate your relationship with the blogger before doing so. Your comment might not be taken in the spirit in which it was meant if the relationship is not well established beforehand.
  • And most importantly, do not respond to a negative comment immediately. Take a deep breath, regain your own inner peace, and perhaps talk to some trusted friends about the comment before replying. This will ensure that you aren’t responding impulsively or out of anger. (This is a MUST for me. I admit that I’m sensitive and a total hot-head. My friends and husband help calm me down. :))

I think Mother Teresa gives some of the best advice on responding to negative comments, so I’ll conclude with this:

mother-teresa-quote

source

No go forth and be nice :)!


Comments

  1. says

    Great post! Unfortunately, the anonymity of the internet creates an environment for people to be more rude than they might be in other situations. I went to a writing seminar a couple of years ago, and a blogger (who went on to write a book), made the comment that if you get negative comments, you must be doing something right – something to that effect. Basically, envy and jealousy rear their ugly heads when someone else is successful.

    Thanks again for sharing. :-)

  2. says

    Love it! Spot on with your descriptions and you are SO right about waiting to respond (although sometimes that is SO difficult! :>) Thanks for putting this into words.

    • Beth @A to Z says

      Thank you Jodi. Waiting is the HARDEST thing for me to do. If someone says anything negative my immediate reaction is to defend myself instead of waiting and responding more rationally. I’m so thankful I have friends to talk me down when needed :).

    • Beth @A to Z says

      I’m clicking over to read! Sometimes it feels good to get it off your chest. I know my friends Viv & Mandi have a blog that helps defend bloggers who receive hate mail. The trolls most likely won’t see the posts (which is good because it would feed their egos) but it helps bloggers feel empowered against hate mail.

  3. says

    First, thank you for all your hard work on this post!! I am a firm believer in the delete button. If someone were blatantly rude in my home I would ask then to leave so I treat the delete button as if I were opening my door asking them to leave. I have not had but one problem child that turned out to have some mental issues, most if not all are quite kind. If and when they aren’t I will delete!! Good advice in your excellent post, Kathysue

  4. says

    You are right on Beth! The hardest part is forgetting about the comment. It’s probably good you can’t reach through computer screens because I might have smacked that anonymous commenter of mine :D

  5. says

    Very well written! Nice job :) You wait, my first nasty comment I’ll be forwarding to you with a bunch of F bombs and a blaze of fire following it. I like your descriptions. They remind me of some of my past co-workers in corporate america that were just simply miserable, jealous and insecure human beings. Geez, I haven’t thought about those debbie downers and trolls in a long time! ha. Oh well, takes all kinds I guess :)

  6. says

    Hey Beth! Thank you for this.. I needed this today! I received one of my first negative comments last night and though I woke up with the ‘that person isn’t worth my time’ attitude – it really irritated me. For a while I was writing two blogs, but it got to be too much, so I quit writing one of them to focus more on the one that I felt was ‘my baby.’ However, the other blog still gets quite a bit of traffic especially with the rise of Pinterest. Last night I got a comment on the old blog from a lady who was mad that I didn’t have a tutorial for a wreath (which I was featuring from another blog which had links!!) and stated, ‘I guess I’ll have to just figure this out on my own!’.

    After reading your post I am going to kill her with kindness. I won’t be rude and I don’t have rude intentions – I will just simply tell her where to find the tutorial and go on about my day :)

    • Beth @A to Z says

      Perfect example of an All-About-Me ;). And good for you for putting on your “customer service” hat and just pointing her in the direction of what she’s looking for. It’s hard not to take it personally, but it’s so not worth the emotional energy.

  7. says

    WOW! What a post! Thanks for sharing and detailing. I write a blog for myself and family and friends that live too far away to be a part of our everyday life. I don’t write for money but have often wondered how people that do, deal with this. I read several popular blogs and see all of these examples daily in their comments. DOn’t people have anything better to do?! Ugh…Keep doing what you’re doing. I love my one subject(er) blogs but I also love it when people don’t just stick to one subject. Best of luck!

  8. says

    Yea. I’ve had a few haters. But that’s not shocking giving that I write candidly about autism and biomed in addition to all my crafting, food, and health posts…

    My first downright CRUEL comment came from a big pharma employee. I responded the way many a new blogger does. In a post. Written in hot rage.

    Now, that I am more seasoned. I just hit delete.

    I love what you said about “wasting emotional energy” on them. True.

    Fighting back just incenses the trolls more. Fuels their agenda.

    Silence treatments are far more effective.

    {sharing this at PInterest on my blogging page, Beth}

    great post for new bloggers.

    • Beth @A to Z says

      Thanks girl. And yes, I think I have at least one post written in rage from a few years back somewhere on this blog :). I’ve also made the mistake of venting my rage on Facebook and Twitter which I wouldn’t do now.

  9. says

    thanks for posting this, I’m a new blogger and this will be a great resource when the not-so-positive comments come..and if you do this long enough, they always do…thanks again, great insight!

    • Beth @A to Z says

      Thank you Haydee :). And yes, unfortunately the not-so-nice comments will probably pop up on your blog one of these days if you blog long enough. But really they are few and far between from all the love received! Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment!

  10. says

    Amazing post!!! I have had most of those types of comments on my blog. It is hard when your feelings are hurt to respond the right way. Thanks for the reminder, and the break down!

  11. says

    Thanks for posting this! I often hold back much of who I am in my posts because I am so fearful of a negative comment. I need to let go of that fear!

  12. says

    Great post…I just Pinned it! I’ve had a few negative comments, and you are right-those are the ones that really stand out. :s The worst was a person who called me a “fat white lady” b/c they didn’t agree with my political preferences. I still remember that one, and it doesn’t feel any less hurtful than it did when I read it.

    I also agree with the staying out of the fray tip when dealing with trolls. A good friend recently “got into it” on her FB page with some woman she hadn’t seen or heard from since elementary school. My friend blocked the woman, who in turn started messaging other people who were involved in the thread and even called my friend from an unlisted number and threatened her. If that’s not a lesson to stay out of other people’s business, I don’t know what is!!

  13. says

    Great post! I have never received a rude comment, but I have received a very rude email…the person actually asked me if my mil hated me because I was lazy and what did my husband do for a living and werent we swimming in CC debt all because I call my God mother “Nanny” and she thought I was SAHM with a nanny! I have to say my response to her was not nearly as nice as what you suggest! lol I will definitely be saving this for future reference! Thanks for all the great posts…home decor and otherwise!

  14. Deb says

    Thanks for this great post. being a relatively new blogger, I haven ‘t had any really negative comments, but I’ve seen plenty and always wonder why anyone would post rude comments. my “favorite” was someone who complained that the blogger was always writing about herself, her family, her thoughts, and her family! Another commenter pointed out that the blogger owns the content and can post whatever she chooses!
    it’s a good reminder for me, and not only for blog comments, to have a cooling off period before any response!

  15. Michelle Gilliland says

    Wow, people comment on grammar?! That was the most shocking one. Thanks for posting, it was very insightful! The only comment that I feel I must make is for the Debbie Downer group- a lot of people don’t read what everyone else writes before their comment. Of course, if you’re just going to be a downer, why comment at all? I agree. :)

  16. says

    I have never had a rude comment in my 3 years of blogging {knock on wood} but I did have someone do a post that I know was directed right at me…about me. Something to the effect that who cares to know what we have for dinner or pictures of my my dogs when they are sleeping. To me it was worse than just a comment. Come on people…do something more creative with your time. I think I took the high road. I did nothing and I don’t go to her blog anymore. And I will always post pictures of my dogs!! Thanks, Beth, I had to get that off my chest!

    XO,
    JAne

    • Beth @A to Z says

      Oh my goodness Jane. I can’t imagine another blogger writing an entire post complaining about someone else’s blog content. But that says a lot about the character of that person. Good for you for taking the high road.

  17. says

    I get mostly “All about me” comments…I got a few trolls, though – they came over from Pinterest and read ONE post from a nine part series and said I was misleading people, etc. I deleted right away. The All about me’s are constantly saying “I WISH I had the money to afford all the containers to organize” or you should be thankful you’re house is so big or how bad their situations are. I feel badly for them and usually offer a positive solutions, but not sure what else I should say, really! Thanks for this post – very good! I’ll pin for sure!

    Becky B.
    http://www.organizingmadefun.com
    Organizing Made Fun

  18. says

    Girl you nailed this! I can’t believe how perfectly you described these different commenters– soooo well done. Wish I’d have taken your advice last week on waiting and simmering down before responding. ;( Had to kinda/sorta apologize later.

  19. says

    What an absolutely fabulous article! I wish I could post in big block letters across the top of my blog with a link to it that says ‘BEFORE YOU COMMENT, READ THIS POST’. I’ve gotten some very angry comments, especially when I do an ‘opinion’ post about something…one comment actually read ‘You’re blog is a waste of space’…yes, with the wrong ‘your’, which made it even more comical. I never post the negative comments, but once in a while, I get a zinger that I just have to blog about it…and even after all these years, they still hurt because it’s like why are you bothering?? http://dawnypoo.blogspot.com/2011/11/no-gnews-is-good-gnews.html

  20. says

    Wow… needed to read this one today. Thanks so much for your post- I feel like people forget #1 that the blogger is a person and #2- the cardinal rule of if you don’t have anything nice to say- DON’T SAY ANYTHING at all. Thanks for sharing this. :)

  21. Kelly says

    Thanks so much for this post. It’s fantastically written and such a fresh breath of honesty! I’m not sure that all thread crappers are church people but love your examples and explanations. You have a wonderful blog and I love following your posts. Thankyou for being who you are, you seem very genuine with a gorgeous big heart! Thankyou again! Xx kel

    • Beth @A to Z says

      Thanks Kelly! And you are so right. Thread crappers are most certainly not all church people! I struggled the most writing the “Debbie Downer/Church Lady” section because I am a Christian and I love my sisters in Christ! However the proverbial Church Lady from Saturday Night Live has nothing to do with God and everything to do with yielding religion and moralizations as a sword to one-up and shame. I’m seeing this kind of thing all too often in facebook comments and blogs and it makes me so sad :(.

  22. says

    Beth, that was a very well written and thought out post about a difficult topic. I think your advise was spot on and now I feel more prepared for if and when it happens to me.
    Thanks,
    Traci

  23. says

    L-O-V-E! This post is so timely for me, and I appreciate it very much. Thank you. I am passing it along to those whom I know will appreciate it, too. I also want to thank you for always being kind and positive with your blog posts. I enjoy the inspiration I receive here, and you have created a very friendly environment. Thank you.

  24. says

    Thank you for a wonderful blog. One of these happened to me about a year ago and today is the first day that I feel like I can finally let it go and move on. Your thoughts were so dead on that it really spoke to me. The last part of the Mother Teresa quote says it all. Again, I love this post and thank you so much for having the courage to post it. Have a blessed day.

  25. says

    Don’t you wonder what those people are like in real life?! It’s so easy to type something behind the safety of the computer screen and solve everyone else’s “problems” without taking sufficient time to weigh one’s words. Wise advice, Beth!!

  26. says

    Wonderful advice! We’re fairly new to blogging and so far the comments have been postive and supportive, however I know some will come that are less that positive…your post will be a great reference. Thank you!

  27. says

    The English Nazi – classic! =) I got my first negative comment the other day and I have to say it did hurt. I tried apologizing for what the “troll” thought I did wrong. BIG mistake. The emails got more and more troubling to me and I came to the conclusion this person was off their meds. Moral of my story: cut your losses early.

    Jeanine

  28. Suzi says

    Wow…cannot believe readers can be so crass as to write insults in the comments! I am a reader who is new to blogs & rarely reads what the other comments are so had no idea. I used to be writer/editor for a women’s newsletter at a large church and a very important lesson I was taught early on was to respect the time and effort of those submitting articles even if it was not what I had expected. I should think that EVERY person who reads blogs would extend the same respect for your time and HARD work…and to those who are bent on tearing others down can I just say, “why you gotta be so mean?”!

  29. says

    Great insight, Beth. Thanks for this post. I love the visuals, too! Trolls belong under the Walnut Street Bridge, if you ask me;)

  30. says

    You have two typos and I came to your blog hoping for a decorating tip today. How dare you not post what I want. Your blog stinks and I shall never return!!

    KIDDING, kidding. I love this post. It’s a tough subject to tackle without bringing out the trolls and you did a great job with it.

  31. kristin M says

    As a blog reader and occasional commenter I don’t believe I’ve ever behaved like a troll (It’s just not in my nature) but I have called a few out for some spelling/ grammar errors that really changed the intent or were just so blatant or frequent that they got in the way of the blogger’s entire post or message. Recently I commented on a blogger’s post in which she suggested the use of “Muslim bags” (yes, capitalized) for a project. I commented and suggested she must mean “muslin bags”. I never got a response (or a thanks) but she corrected the post. Some bloggers will do a project and say “What do you think?” and then not take the comments well. If you say “What do you think?” you need to be able to accept that some people will prefer the before, won’t like the color you chose or the placement or whatever. It’s called feedback and they asked for it. We would all be unhealthy people if everyone only complimented us.
    Does this comment need to be followed by a “wah waaaaaaaah”? I hope not.

    • Beth @A to Z says

      Okay, have to admit that I laughed out loud over the Muslim bags :). I’m sure she was incredibly embarrassed over that one for sure! And yes there is definitely room for differing opinions in the blogosphere. Again, I think relationship and choice of words have a lot to do with how feedback is received. For example, I posted on my facebook page a mock up of a room design I was working on and asked for feedback. I got it..and some of it wasn’t positive. It hurt because it was very direct. I was appreciative for the feedback (because they were right…some things needed to be changed), but the words chosen were very blunt and came across as harsh. I think a good rule of thumb would be to think if you would say it in a person’s home. If you were a stranger invited into that person’s home and they asked you, “What do you think of my kitchen” and are obviously beaming and proud, would you really say, “I liked it so much better before you painted it and the drapes you chose aren’t working at all for me.” I doubt it. If they are a good friend or relative, you might because you know that your relationship is strong enough to withstand that sort of direct feedback…but to a stranger you probably wouldn’t.

      • kristin M says

        So true. We hide behind our computer screens, texts and tweets. Will we ever converse normally again?

  32. says

    Well said Beth!

    Every time I blog, I try to remember this saying: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

    Care and warmth exudes through your words chosen. Grammar is simply about rules, not creations. I can’t blog any other way than conversational.

    I *try* not to be offended by negative comments but go on for the day..

    Thank you for blogging about this…besides whatever happened to it’s plain “rude” {manners please}

    Enjoyed this from your heart,
    {Tina}

  33. says

    I am so sadden that you even have to post something on this topic. I was just telling my hubby yesterday that the main reason I blog is bc the bloggy women are not caddy and are so caring and encouraging of one another. (Something I really need in my life)
    Example: The newbies on the scene (like me) can get help from seasoned bloggers on how to make their blog better without someone hoarding all the info.

    I apologize for anyone who has said anything negative on your blog. Your blog brings me smiles each day, that is why I follow. (Assumed that is why others followed too, not to make rude remarks).

    Love you Blog!!!
    ~Jen @ hutchinsonherd.blogspot.com

  34. says

    First off I have to say I love the personas that you gave the different types of people that can linger around your blog. You hit the nail on the head. I am brand new to blogging and have yet to have my first negative comment. I think I have only had a total of maybe 5 comments lol. However, I did want to say that your post relates not only to blogging but to the workforce as well. In my previous job let’s just say I was in the position where I got my fair share of complaints, opinions, advice and more. Many of the things you mentioned were very well applied in my job. I am like you, quick to speak and I would have to remember four things; listen, hold your tongue, process, and then respond. Often times people say things for a reason and it’s best that we don’t respond to quickly and take time to listen and figure out exactly where they are coming from before we take it to personally. I do think it is very sad that people tend to be a little more brave because they feel they can hide behind the internet. Beth this was a really great post and excellent advice and really great reminders for some of us that may need to be prepared for what may come. Thanks again. Lesley

  35. says

    I really want to comment and commit each one of those offenses because it would be fun, but since this is my first visit to your site, I can’t do that. he he he
    I enjoyed reading and agree with your analysis of each, but I do have a quick delete reflex to the mean posts. I have only had one, honest, and I didn’t hesitate to delete immediately. I hadn’t even thought of it again until just now. No need to hate. If you didn’t like what I wrote, just click off and feel free not to come back!

    Hope you’ll stop by and see me and I’ll be back! :)

    http://jo-mywanderingmind.blogspot.com

  36. says

    Well done, Beth (cue applause)! I so needed to read this after a weekend with way to much mental energy spent (wasted) on a trollish comment. Great post.

  37. Michelle says

    Great post. I’m new to blogging. Well I don’t have a blog but I just discovered the world of blogs and am having a blast. When people who leave a negative post must be board or unhappy with themselves and need to find something wrong to make themselves feel better. I have come across quit a few trolls and english nazis and they are just not worth my time. Well written. I enjoy your blog.

  38. says

    OMG BETH this sucked, I demand your blog accomodate my personal preferences!!! WTF come on!!!!

    Ha, kidding of course, I love this! I still think it’s totally lol-worthy that strangers on the internet complain to blogs about content, as if the internet just exists for their own personal enjoyment! What right do people have to whine about something they pay NOTHING for?! It’s simply mind boggling to me!

  39. says

    Hi Beth,
    I am a new blogger. Thank you for this advice. I don’t have many followers yet, but know not everyone is nice. I am saving this post as a reminder for when I receive negative feedback or comments.

  40. Michelle Huber says

    Beth,

    I absolutely loved your post! It really came at the right time for me. I know this doesn’t have anything to do with receiving a negative comment on a blog, but I received a very negative e-mail from a student’s mothers that is in my son’s class. I handled that one well by e-mailing her with my phone # and asking her to call me rather than e-mail back and forth. She didn’t sound as “tough” via phone as she did in her very negative e-mail. However, sometimes, I don’t handle my family as well… I don’t like to admit it but I am sometimes a “Troll”. I believe the information you provided is really going to help me with my communication in a BIG way. Thanks so much! I have been on your e-mail list for about 2-3 weeks. You are fabulous and don’t let anyone else tell you differently.
    Cheers! Michelle

    Thanks, Michelle

  41. says

    This is a great post! It pains me when I visit blogs/sites and people feel they can hide behind a computer and let it all out! Ex.- I love looking through apartment therapy’s posts on decor, food, simple living but more often than not- about 25% of comments are so disrespectful. When relating to others and the world, I usually try to live by a statement that a friend once told me. That we need to strive for “on earth at it is on heaven.” Thanks again for the reminder to be mindful of our actions and words :)

  42. says

    Hi Beth,
    Thank you for a great post. I’ve only been blogging about 6 months, but received a comment that I didn’t know how to respond to. I just left it alone. I’m your newest follower. Thanks again.
    Tammy
    primaryparadise.blogspot

  43. says

    Ha! The grammar police. I’m always trying to out run them! I’ve seen an author on Apartment Therapy viciously attacked from a simple typo. It wasn’t just one grammar officer either. It was a whole squad!

  44. says

    This post is SPOT-ON!! Found you from Vintage Revivals where she references this specific post of yours. Also? Thank you for giving me a new vocab word. I LOVE “decrapification.” While I may not be choosing to use it Sunday morning at church, I will certainly try to be incorporating it into my conversations this week. FUN!

  45. says

    Ugh. Negative comment. I had my first experience last year: http://dans-le-townhouse.blogspot.ca/2012/07/my-first-experience-with-negative.html.

    I wish I had this guide then, it’s so helpful! It’s in my nature to respond, so respond I did. For me, it boiled down to a pattern of negativity. I see the same kind of mean spiritedness offline, too. It felt good to address it. I’ll keep addressing it, on my blog when the need arises, and in the supermarket when I see a customer berating a sales clerk. I don’t get how people think it’s okay to treat other people so poorly.

  46. says

    you’r chart was HILARIOUS! I lOVE visuals and that was the best and most amusing one I’ve seen yet. I know it wasn’t meant to be a joke, but it just goes to show how ridiculous some intentions can be. I haven’t had a negative comment ( or any comments for that matter lol) but I definitely expect them, and when/if I do ever get one I think I would just respond to the reader with your chart up above and ask them to pick the category they belong too. :o))))) Thank YOU!!!