In reading my little sister’s latest blog entry, I was convicted by a disturbing truth. I make a pretty lousy friend! Now before you protest (and of course I’m hoping you will), let me lay out some of the dirty and harsh facts. I am blunt to the point of being rude and not always considerate of feelings. If wronged, I hold a grudge. I’m not all that great about sending cards and remembering birthdays. I frequently do too much of the talking and not enough of the listening. I wait to be pursued instead of extending plans and invitations first. And yet, my whole life I have been blessed with an abundance of friends!
Let’s backtrack a bit here; I have never been the sanguine-social-butterfly-type-of-girl who flutters amongst a large group of friends. Growing up, I always wanted to be that girl. During adolescence, I actually “tried on” that personality type. I crammed my depth and insecurities into social-butterfly sleeves, but they just wouldn’t fit. I’m not that girl. I prefer to have a small, core group of friends who I deeply trust, a group who knows me and loves me despite and in spite of my many, many flaws. In fact, I am the only person I know who actually turns down “friends” on Facebook. I am just more comfortable fluttering in smaller circles. Actually, I’m not all that comfortable with fluttering. I much prefer to simply rest on a flower with a good friend over some great nectar :).
So, when I use the term friend it is not a word I use lightly. If you are reading this blog, chances are pretty good that you are one of my quality friends who has blessed and enriched my life. To you I want to say, thank you. Thank you for loving me during this dark and difficult time. Thank you for being gracious enough to see past the fact that I am frequently a lousy friend. Thank you for all of phone calls, emails, cards, and most importantly prayers that you have sent my way this past month. I am so grateful to each of you…even if I don’t always show it the way I should. And if you are ever close enough in proximity to flutter my way, please do. I miss just resting by the flowers with a good friend.