In reading my little sister’s latest blog entry, I was convicted by a disturbing truth. I make a pretty lousy friend! Now before you protest (and of course I’m hoping you will), let me lay out some of the dirty and harsh facts. I am blunt to the point of being rude and not always considerate of feelings. If wronged, I hold a grudge. I’m not all that great about sending cards and remembering birthdays. I frequently do too much of the talking and not enough of the listening. I wait to be pursued instead of extending plans and invitations first. And yet, my whole life I have been blessed with an abundance of friends!
Let’s backtrack a bit here; I have never been the sanguine-social-butterfly-type-of-girl who flutters amongst a large group of friends. Growing up, I always wanted to be that girl. During adolescence, I actually “tried on” that personality type. I crammed my depth and insecurities into social-butterfly sleeves, but they just wouldn’t fit. I’m not that girl. I prefer to have a small, core group of friends who I deeply trust, a group who knows me and loves me despite and in spite of my many, many flaws. In fact, I am the only person I know who actually turns down “friends” on Facebook. I am just more comfortable fluttering in smaller circles. Actually, I’m not all that comfortable with fluttering. I much prefer to simply rest on a flower with a good friend over some great nectar :).
So, when I use the term friend it is not a word I use lightly. If you are reading this blog, chances are pretty good that you are one of my quality friends who has blessed and enriched my life. To you I want to say, thank you. Thank you for loving me during this dark and difficult time. Thank you for being gracious enough to see past the fact that I am frequently a lousy friend. Thank you for all of phone calls, emails, cards, and most importantly prayers that you have sent my way this past month. I am so grateful to each of you…even if I don’t always show it the way I should. And if you are ever close enough in proximity to flutter my way, please do. I miss just resting by the flowers with a good friend.
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Anonymous says
beth, i think its noteworthy that you have an abundance of friends… this just isn’t true of people who are truly lousy at being a friend.
i think we all could be better at friendships, and i like when we can live in grace for each other. there are lots of people that i could talk to more regularly, but with friends like you, i know thats not what our friendship hinges upon.
you are a magnetic person and i have felt cared for by you.
love, s.
Morgan says
Oh, Beth… this is a time for your friends to be there for you… to encourage you. It is always difficult to ask and receive help graciously, but you’re doing both. It is not an easy task. So many of us care deeply for you and your sweet family… don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help and prayer. You are a wonderful woman of God whom I admire, as I’ve said many times. I consider it a privilege to call you friend. Know that you are loved – Morgan