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I suck at leaving comments. I just do. I run out things to say. I fumble to find something other than, “So, so cute”. I plain old stink at it. Which is why I am so thankful for talented blogger’s in my life like Kathy from Creative Home Expressions. Kathy has been a good blog friend for a few years now, and I love getting comments from her. She has the gift of encouragement and makes you feel validated and good about yourself. Kathy is a blessing, and I’m trying to learn by her good-bloggy-commenting-example! You should too! Teach us oh wise one…
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How to leave a good comment
The lovely Beth has asked me to do a guest post in her blog etiquette/tips series on commenting and how I do it. I don’t consciously have a way of leaving comments, it’s just me, but I’ve tried to be more aware of how I leave a comment, so I could tell you.
We all want comments on our blog posts. Nice comments. Besides trying to comment as if I am speaking to you in person, here is how I leave comments.
What’s Your Name? When I comment, I always try to find out the person’s name – even if it is not readily apparent on their blog {in a signature or profile blurb is the norm}. As long as I know their name, I always use it in the comment. Like, “You did a fabulous job on that display, Beth!”.
With Feeling. It doesn’t need to be a long comment either. Taking the above, “You did a fabulous job on that display, Beth! I love how you used items you already had.” Two sentences and I think that Beth would appreciate reading that. If you are commenting without feeling it, then don’t comment. When I see a “Nice job.” comment on my own blog, it’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I just feel like you are commenting because you have to. Maybe it’s a linky party and you feel obligated.
Sometimes I leave a longer comment because I’ve done, seen, made, avoided, or destroyed something similar. That’s where your connections come in through blogging. You have something in common with this person and you want to let them know. I do it a lot and sometimes I stop and think that “you’re making it about you, Kathy”, but I’m really not. I’m just letting people know “we are alike. The same thing has happened to me”.
The Nasties. I’ve been lucky enough to only have two, what I’ll term, “abrupt” comments on my blog in the past three years. I let them publish to the post and left it at that, but I know that some bloggers are out and out attacked on their blogs. Here’s the thing, the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” is so applicable to blogging it could have been written just for us. Don’t do it. Just like everything else, once you do it, and it’s published, it’s there. For everyone to see. So if you were having a bad day, you’ve just been labeled a horrible person for comments you left because you thought it would make you feel better.
I myself have had days where I’m irritable. If I even read blog posts on those days, I just read them. I won’t always leave comments those days unless I actually happen to read a post that lifts my mood. My irritability is no one’s problem but mine.
This leads me to nasty comments due to jealousy. There is always going to be someone somewhere who has more than you. More money, more talent, more beauty, more, more, more. But remember, there is always someone that has less than you. Less money, less food ~ I think you get my drift. Jealousy should not breed a nasty comment.
Overall, my thinking is this. The people whose blogs I read are sharing something they are proud of, pleased with, satisfied about, or just have a need to share something good whether it’s a decorating project, a craft or a family milestone. It doesn’t cost you anything but a minute to leave a comment acknowledging what they’ve done or congratulating them. And if you can’t, then don’t leave a comment at all. Move on.
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Good advice eh? For even more fabulous advice, I encourage you to read the transcript from the latest CrafterMinds twitter chat which coincidentally was on commenting! You’ll see that I weighed in quite a bit with some more commenting tips during the chat!
So how about you? Are you a good at leaving blog comments? Any piece of advice you’d like to add?
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Great advice, Kathy, because so much of it is common courtesy! We all know courtesy can be hard to come by in cyberspace and elsewhere, so thank you for championing it! And kudos to Beth for asking you to do it.
Have a great evening and Happy New Year!
Good stuff. I love comments and get sad when I've put a lot of thought into a post and people visit but they still don't leave me a note. I don't want comments just to see how many I can get, I just want some feedback – good or bad. Helps me better my content and better understand my audience.
ohhh Beth, What a lovely guest post 🙂 Thank you for asking Kathy to do this and thank you to Kathy for sharing. She seems like such a nice person, has to be the name 😉 giggle
I was just going through my RSS reader and found this post. it's amazing what timing it has really. I have been sick for the last three days. Stinks, I know, at Christmas! Anyway, this afternoon I really needed to get off the couch, my body ached from laying around so much. So I went down to my craft room and was looking around when an idea for a simple Valentine craft hit me, so I made it, photographed it and posted it. Made me feel good after 3 days of misery and feeling like I had been robbed of my Christmas by Mr. Barfo. Anyway, low and behold, the first comment that was left on the post was criticizing me for posting a Valentine craft so early! Egads people. It amazes me how miserable some people really must be. 🙁 Anyway, enough whining 🙂 Great post kathy, and thank you Beth, always a pleasure reading your blog 🙂
Fantastic thoughts, because so often I find myself having no idea what to say and then I don't leave a comment, but wishing I could! I have been fortunate and never had a nasty commenter leave their thoughts but I've read some really hurtful ones on other blogs. Words have such power. Thank you for sharing these with us!
Blessings,
Sasha
As I read through all of the comments on this post I am feeling a little "Kathy comment" envy… … you are welcome to come visit me anytime!
And thanks to you and Beth for this post – great topic and good advice!
Hi Beth! LOVED this post! I'm not a blogger, but LOVE reading blogs & getting all the great ideas & inspirations. Comments can be a little intimadating to leave after reading some of the previous ones,but not anymore! Love your blog! Have a Merry Christmas 🙂 Kim B.
This was a great post! Before I became a blogger, my niece had some nasty comments on her own little family blog about how she lived in this fantasy "perfect" little world and yet she can't even spell – yada, yada. It was horrible! And they just kept at it too – attacking her! I don't even get that!
For me, leaving a comment is complimenting someone, and we all love compliments! I have a friend who reads my blog everyday but says she is worried about not having a good comment, so she doesn't leave one. What?
I am such a commenter! I have even been dubbed the "Facebook Fairy" because I leave so many comments for people! It makes them feel good and I like that.
Kathy DOES leave the best comments, I always appreciate the obvious thought she has put into what she comments and it shows she READ the post! Great tips, and I am happy to say I've only received one outright nasty comment since beginning my blog…that says a lot about the spirit in blogland. I hope this continues, I go to other venues and this isn't the case!
And…Happiest of Holidays to you and your family Beth! It was a true pleasure to meet you briefly this past year. Here's to a great 2011!
Janell
Thanks Beth and Kathy! Great tips on commenting…can't figure out why anyone would want to leave those nasty ones…don't they have something better to do with their time! 🙂 Enjoyed your post, have a very Merry Christmas!
Hugs
Missy
Beth, I just love when you do the blog etiquette posts! I also love how everyone is using the names as they respond! We are such good followers!!! 🙂 Kathy has some excellent points and I appreciate her sharing them with us. I just try to think of what I would say if we were standing face to face and let it go from the heart!
Merry Christmas to you and your sweet family!!!!
Thanks Beth and Kathy.We all need reminders.I think all of you are so talented! I am just excited to see what creative ideas you come up with each day. Teija (@kiazen)
Comments are what I consider virtual encouragment. I recently had the conversation via Twitter.
Merry Holidays Everyone
Mr. Goodwill Hunting
Beth & Kathy – Thank you so much for sharing these tips! Great tip to use the blogger's name, I'm gonna start using that tip now. 🙂
I love any comments I get (my blog is pretty new). But my least favorite comments are the 'great job' ones. It's nice, but I can't tell if they even read the post. When I comment, I try and state something specific about why I like their post/project or to ask a question.
Thank you again for sharing!
Beth, what a great post and things to think about and how we can be better! Kathy's comments are always aways wonderful! She is such a sweetheart and one of m favorites…I try to leave good comments, but she has given me food for thought on how I can be better!
Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Lou Cinda
Kudos to both of you for providing this etiquette forum. Kathy, you've said some great things here. I wish I could be a better commenter, and I imagine a lot of people feel the same way about their blog time. It's best to be sincere and encouraging. That can't be so difficult, right? Good conversations going on here!
Great advice from my big sister! =) Sometimes I think I ramble on too much on some of my comments. LOL!
Wishing everyone a safe and happy holiday weekend!
Jeanine
Thanks for sharing this, Beth. I agree with the great suggestions from Kathy. Connecting with people is one of the things I love about blogging. I love commenting, and my goal is always to leave a kind comment. I have been fortunate to meet great bloggers, and receive many encouraging comments. The only thing I would add is that I feel uncomfortable when I get a comment only to promote someone's own post, giveaway, etc. It is fine if they share a comment and then mention stopping by/entering their giveaway, but not just a pure advertisement for their blog.
Wishing you both a wonderful day and a Merry Christmas!
Wow, all these comments are great and I really appreciate what's being said! I know you've made my night! : ) To those who disagree or think I have some nerve, just know that this is what I do. It doesn't mean that you should do it, or that it is "the right way". This is just me and what I do. There are some that may disagree or want to debate the issue, and you can, but keep in mind I am just saying what I do as a blogger/commenter and that won't change.
Thank you, Beth, for having me as a guest. Christmas Wishes to everyone!
I've received a few of Kathy's comments before, and they've always been so kind–I think that really must be a reflection of who she is. But that's the kind of person we can all try to be–giving, encouraging, uplifting. We can all follow the good advice here, so thank you for writing it, Kathy! And thank you for posting it, Beth!
What a perfect person to write this post! Kathy always has a way of making my day brighter with her heartfelt comments. Merry Christmas to both of you!!
Sometimes I too feel I get too chatty and tell about similar things I've done or issues I've tackled. I do it only to let the OP know I have also experienced such but then I worry that maybe it makes it seem like I'm talking about me.
I love getting comments and wish I could answer them but I know thats against bloggie rules- at least ON the blog and that I'm supposed to send them an email responce..
thanks for sharing these tips..
I too think Kathy and her comments are great examples of being a good blogger..
Holiday Hugs
Sonny
Kathy, thanks for some great tips on blog commentary and Beth, thanks for posting! As a fellower blogger (as well as a mom and wife), I understand how difficult it is to juggle everything, but I do enjoy hopping around to other blogs to see what they are up to! I try and leave a comment when I can, because I know that I would want someone to leave a comment on my site. I really try to put myself in someone elses position and know that I would appreciate it in return!! With my Interior Design & Decor website, SAS Interiors, I have learned so much from other creative and talented bloggers, and I want them to know that!!
Happy Holidays
~Jenna, SAS Interiors
http://www.sasinteriors.blogspot.com
Over the years I've noticed that Kathy has always left the most thoughtful comments on my short lived blog life here, and on Beth's blog. She takes the time to make each of us feel validated. What woman doesn't crave that!!???!! Maybe I need to have Kathy give a lesson to all our husbands on comments! What do ya think Kath?? 🙂
Kathy and Beth you two are the sweetest, nicest friends anyone could ask for in this big ole' land of blog. I appreciate both of you and all of your comments to me the last few years. Kathy your advice was perfection.
Thanks guys. Love ya both!
Merry Christmas! ~Melissa 🙂
Hi Angie,
I think you should follow those blogs you love and hope to visit. I think it's more sincere than just following back because someone followed you. I also would LOVE to have more time to visit and leave a comment on everyone's blog who left me a comment. I DO think that's good etiquette but it's so hard to balance it all and try to keep my boys and husband and other life responsibilities first. Thanks for weighing in with your insight!
Beth, thanks for sharing the great advice, but pardon me if I disagree, you leave amazing comments. Your one comment to me a few weeks ago is still so encouraging to me. I keep it in my inbox and check on it from time to time. Thanks again for the encouragement and inspiration you provide so often. Have a wonderful Holiday! Laura
Nice post, but I am just happy if someone comments at all. I just enjoy hearing from them, even it is is just a word or two.
Great tips! Kathy really is a great commenter & I've thought that before. She always shines through & leave encouragement. I wish I had MORE time to leave comments all over the place. That's the hardest part, the finding time to spread it out.
What a great, informative post to coincide with the Crafterminds chat!!! Thanks for sharing!
Kathy, I love your blog posting tips too! And, I love the word art that you posted. Did you use "wordle" to create it or a different program?
Amy 🙂
I love posts on blog etiquette. And yes, Kathy is a great commenter! But she's right, so much of it is just the person we are. If we are grateful or touched or inspired or moved, then those feelings should come forth in your comments. I also loved what she said about leaving nasty comments just to make yourself feel better. That is selfish and wrong and is not what this community is all about.
I would like to know your feelings on "following" etiquette. I think it's just in good taste to go over and follow someone who took the time to follow you, but I find that so many do not. What do you think?
I love your tips and advice, Kathy. Some days the words flow for me, some days not so much, but I always try to say something kind because someone has 'put themselves out there'. Write a comment like it is one that you want to hear yourself!
XO,
Jane
Kathy really does leave the best comments, love her !
Kathy I would have to agree with you on using the person's name. It just feels like they've taken the extra second or two to learn about ME. I'm going to make it a point of taking the time to acknowlede by name. Thanks for sharing your expertise. And Beth thanks for sharing her with us.