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Decorating Identity Crisis and Confronting Meanness

After getting the first level of my house straightened and clean yesterday, I was feeling a bit better about life in general.  However, I am itching to repaint my first level and switch out the window treatments and mistreatments and drastically change things up.  But to what?  What is my style now?  I am evolving and my home doesn’t reflect this.  My home feels like an outfit I’m sooooo sick of wearing.  I have safely stuck with golden yellows and reds for a decade now, eleven years to be exact.  I’m over it.  But what would I change everything to if I could afford to?  Hmmmm.  I don’t know!  I feel drawn to the trends of whites and cooler tones, but they don’t quite feel like me either.  
I pride myself on knowing my style, so I was seriously feeling a bit threatened by not being able to articulate what I like.   Cue stage right and to my rescue, enters the latest issue of House Beautiful!  My hero! It came in the mail yesterday, and I spent the greater portion of last night pouring over the pages.
Old world.  If money were not an issue, I would surround myself with salvaged wood, bricks, stone, and tons of architectural detail.  I snapped some pics of the pics for you and they are pretty horrible.  If you want to see them looking good, I encourage you to go buy the magazine!  
Just look at this entryway!  I love it.  I would add some rugs and some colorful pillows to the bench to soften things up a bit, but otherwise it’s me. 

Between the ages of 2-18 I lived in seven different homes around the country.  All of them were beautiful, and I remember details that I loved in each.  In our first home, my parents added an addition with a gorgeous stone fireplace.  In their custom built home on Lake Michigan, my parents designed a main level with pine floors, exposed beams, rich wood cabinets, and a pebble-stone floored sunroom.  In our home in Oklahoma, the exterior of the house boasted a stone exterior.  These elements feel like home to me.  

I could do without the animal skull here, but I’ll take the rest!
This kitchen gets my adrenaline pumping.  I love it.
When I excitedly showed my husband this picture his response was, “That cage would drive you crazy.”   Okay, so yes, I like to see myself in the mirror without staring through bars, but this is just cool.  I love the look of it.  The tumbled marble sink speaks to me. 
Love the play of light with darkness here.  An absolute must is a ton of flooding sunshine for a home with old world appeal.  Otherwise, it could take on a creepy cave feel.
Thank you House Beautiful for reminding me of what I love!  On a completely unrelated note, I was also incredibly inspired by what Stephen Drucker had to say in his opener.  Read below:

Here, here Mr. Drucker!  Decorating is NOT a blood sport, indeed!  I was asked awhile back to participate in the SYTYCD competition that is currently going on and turned down the opportunity for fear of this exact thing.  (On a side note, I am enjoying watching the competition and am impressed with the friendly, supportive, and nurturing way it’s being run.  My fear was unfounded but the idea of “competing” didn’t sit well with me.)  Although most who take the time to read my ramblings (like you oh bless-ed one) are nothing but positive and loving, I have received my fair share of biting anonymous comments in the past.  I applaud Mr. Drucker for having the courage to boldly confront meanness where he sees it.   He’s a man after my own heart!  House Beautiful rocks.  

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Comments

  1. The office at my children's school has a sign that says Be Kinder Than Necessary. I SO want one for my home. I think it might be the best life motto ever!

  2. Hi Beth,

    Mine just came in the mail today, can't wait to devour it….

    I have never been one to follow the trends, I have always gone with what I love and I think you should too…good luck dear blogging friend, I love your spunk and style so glad I found your blog…you make me smile 🙂

    And those nasty ANNOM give us good ones a bad name….I won't go as far as what Sean Penn wishes on people but you get my drift 🙂

    Have a fab week-end…we are in for a soaker….glad I have my HB 🙂

    All the best,
    Kathy 🙂

  4. Old world charm" texture, history, rustic, lots of neutrals and black…..right up my alley.

    Beautiful stuff, Beth!!

  5. I love those trips down memory lane via magazine pictures and some blogs too.
    I also was intrigued as I read the editorial. Meanness is so common these days, we are in danger of not even recognizing it. Glad to know others feel the same way especially in the design business where envy must abound. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  6. Very pretty and inspiring Beth! I too just love the old world style. ~Gorgeous. 🙂

  7. Individuality and an open mind. We all need to remember that!!! Thx for sharing & Love the pics of the magazine you shared!

  8. Wow, I'll be buying up that mag too this month. LOVE it!

    You could totally faux paint your cabs to resemble that. Contact The Magic Brush (blogspot.com) and she could guide you.

    Donna

  9. I love the slipcovered seats, the ones in damask. Those are exactly what I need for my chairs. And about the meanness. I totally agree. Everyone has their personal style, we shouldn't have to change to meet the "standards" of others.

  10. Meanness sucks. I think if it makes you feel happy, makes you smile, and makes you feel at home, then so it should be. I think that's what's so great about decorating – it should be about self expression. While their are decorating "styles" and things I'll probably never incorporate into my home – I trust and know that I can respect and admire the effort and love that it took for someone to create that atmosphere in their own home. That should be celebrated.

    And in regards to Old World – oh that worn wood is wonderful! There is something so beautiful about it. So excited to see how your home evolves with this inspiration!

  11. Thank you!! Great Post! I feel the exact same way right now! Great inspirational pictures! I say go for it 🙂
    Wendy

  12. I'm trying to identify my own style, too. It's not easy. Glad you're finding the path to yours. 🙂

  13. I absolutely LOVED Drucker's soapbox article. Perfectly said. Loved this issue too !

    Kate

  14. So beautiful! I love it because it's classic, not trendy, and will never stop being amazing.

  15. Wow, Beth. Melanie was so right about the differences between your family and our family. My first thought after seeing the post with pictures of your home was "I remember how the Crabtree family always put more value on having a lovely home than on other things." Probably my most common complaint since I've been married is not having the money (or the time) to decorate our house. I definitely need to be more like you!

  16. Hey, Beth, I think more & more people struggle with finding their style & blogging doesn't help things. We tune in to all these popular blogs & see the current styles all over the place & feel like we have to change everything. I'm going to do a post about that. Finding YOUR style & sticking to it, no matter the trends that come along. I'm guilty of getting caught up in trends too, but have really gotten better at that in the last few years & now I concentrate on what I love & not just what is the popular color scheme of the moment.

    Loved Stephen Drucker's comments too, I just read that part last night in HB. I applaud him for speaking up!

  17. Old world is cool and my hubby LOVES it (animal skull and all!) I am excited to see what YOU do with it! : )

  18. Isn't it always interesting that those comments are always anonymous?

    The Old World look is not for me, but I do enjoy the pics!

  19. Beautiful photos of inspiration…and confirmation as to what you really love! 😉 I went to B&N yesterday and browsed tons of home decorating magazines…it was so nice to be able to see what other people find beautiful, and to gather inspiration for things I would like to incorporate into my own home!

    Blessings, and Happy Weekend!
    -Grace

  20. Amen, Stephen! I started off at college as an interior design major and reluctantly changed my major because I sensed the same type of competition creeping into the field. I was highly disappointed. 🙁 I resorted to theatrcial design and although I love it, I wish I would have felt more welcome in the interior design industry. I miss it! But a little dose of your blog brings me back to life each day! Thanks, Beth!

  21. Great post! I love how you speak your mind. We all get lost in our "style" sometime I agree with you and HB…design needn't be such a blood sport…so unecessary. Design is something to enjoy, not to be judged maliciously.

  22. Oh my gosh, my comment just went through the first time I tried. That has never happened to me before. I usually have to try several times! Yipeee!

  23. Great post. I really like the pictures, and the closing remarks!

    On the topic of all of the beautiful homes you have had growing up, this is something I have thought about many times. Your parents always made it a priority to have a lovely home that was fully decorated. My family moved and moved until my mom was so exhausted that she hardly tried anymore to decorate since we always just had to take it down. Our family backgrounds have continued to influence us.

    I have spent so much of my life feeling like I just didn't have the money to really decorate, yet you have always found a way because it was your priority to have a beautiful home. You have been a major facet of my theory that you FIND money for the things you really care about. For me those priorities/obsessions, I think, are healthy food, books, self-improvement projects, and then probably clothes after that. See, I want a beautiful home, but it doesn't come high up enough on my list to devote enough resources to it! This has always fascinated me. And you remind and inspire me that I COULD find the money if I made it more of a priority.

    I'll keep reading your blog so I keep getting that reminder. And someday, hopefully soon, when I get my own home again, I can make it beautiful like yours!

  24. I absolutely think you could pull this off! You've already got the brick. Interesting to read that piece. I have to say that luckily I have not been subjected to anything mean or nasty, and I don't understand why anyone would be that way on a blog.

  25. I too adore salvaged woods, stone, brick, warmth.
    Oh, and kudos to Mr. Drucker! What a great way to mainstream what so many of us feel. Love it!

    I meant to leave a comment yesterday too and tell you that I am in the midst of a major clean up/out too. It feel good, doesn't it? You're doing a fantastic job, and I'm so glad that things are feeling just a bit more normal.

    Much love,
    XO*T

  26. Those pictures are gorgeous, I can't wait for my copy! I love old world too.

    I feel ya, girl. My home is feeling the same way to me. Time for a change, but what? Ultimately we just have to do what feels good and not play into what others are doing….Good to find inspiration, but reflecting your individuality in your designs, that is what makes a home… a home.

    Thanks for sharing that today! I needed it. Love your blog, love your home and you are such a doll! Warmest Wishes! (oh and Love that brick wall!)

  27. I'm right there with you and Old World. Love it.
    Can't usually afford to decorate that way. Everything old is so expensive. I do love it though and would feel right at home in that home.
    Thanks for sharing that.
    Brooke

  28. I agree with everything! I got my House Beautiful also and did the same thing you did! Devoured it! Beautiful stuff!

    Can't wait to see what you do! I KNOW it will be both wonderful and inspiring ~ just like you!

    Have a great weekend!

    Lou Cinda 🙂

  29. Alright here is an idea…
    Maybe we should just start a swap for when we are all tired of our things and really can't afford to switch them out because we all know where that goes.
    First it is the paint, then the curtains, and well those rods just don't work so I will have to get different ones, now my rugs look so off so I must look for new rugs, oh crap now my pillows totally don't go…and it goes on and on.

    Keep your creative ideas coming…I know you will transform it into something great which will only cost pennies…well maybe dollars but inexpensive none the less.

  30. Those pics are beautiful and inspiring! And I agree, sometimes it gets mean out there! That's why I took off my anonymous comment thingy. I also quit going to HGTV's Rate my Space. Some very mean people on there!! I agree too about the competitive thing. I don't want that from blogging and I tend to quit following blogs when they become all about the followers they can get so that they can bring in more advertising. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't care if their are ads, that is fine. It's just when they constantly do things to get you over and then there is no real substance to their post.
    Just my thoughts,
    Thanks for sharing yours,
    Cindy

  31. Definitely can see your style in those pages Beth! I'm sure you'll come up with your own take on those inspiring photos, and they will be awesome!

    As far as the SYTYCD, I've not even gone over to look. Not because there were going to be Simon-type remarks, but because I think there are already enough folks who feel 'less than'…and I think this kind of thing breeds that. It can easily become another popularity contest, similar to who has the most followers. Not only in who they pick to participate, but in who gets the votes. I also hate that the blogs I already subscribe to are constantly reminding me to go vote. Not what I'm looking for in my bloglife. I don't know, just rubbed me the wrong way. I tend to be for the little guys…If I want sensationalism and competition, I'll watch tv (which I haven't done in 20 years.)

    You have a keen sense of style, Beth, and I for one am glad you didn't participate. 🙂

  32. Yay for you for finding your style! 🙂 I love that you want your home to reflect YOU and not someone else's dictation of what they think style should be.

    I'm sure the SYTYCD (at first, I totally thought you were going on FOX TV to dance before I remembered) is a great competition, but it seems a little much to me. Making a competition out of how our homes look? It's one thing to blog about how you decorate and receive encouragement and constructive criticism about your choices, but for ME–a competition like that would open the doors for some major insecurity. Just my two cents. :s

  33. I know exactly what you mean, if I were to start over today my house would look a lot different. Boo for mean people !

  34. Great Post! and I so agree with the last words!! We have to be confident, to be bold, to claim a home as ours and not a place to only please others. BTW, I love the look you're craving. Go do it, girl! (and share every step of the way with me! with US!!!)

  35. Your style and mine are alike. I LOVED every one of those pictures and if money were no object I would do something just like that. I think you have found your style. Can't wait to see what you do.

  36. Well I think you have found your style! Now go and start redecorating!
    I know it is crazy but my first nasty anonymous comment has yet to come, and yeah if I get one in the next 24 hrs I will know it is from you 🙂

  38. I adore this post. I adore you! Your home is just that…YOU…YOURS. It should be a space that makes you happy not everyone over at HGTV or the top notch blogs. I have struggled with my look for some time now. My problem…I love them all.At this time I'm enjoying the lighter colors because it calms me. I dont have to think about it…I need that right now in my life.
    I think you need to find what makes you smile and then do what you do best my friend…decorate from the heart~ (((hugs))) Susie

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