“So, Beth, tell me…how do you spend your days at home,” is the question I often receive when I inform others that I am currently a SAHM (stay-at-home-mommy). I have learned to simply reply that I spend my days chasing boys (and a furry boy dog). Although sometimes asked sincerely, more often this question smacks with a must-be-nice-to-be-you undertone. Well…yes, actually, it is nice to be me. I have paid my dues in the working world and am loving the opportunity to be with my kiddos full-time; I consider it a privilege. However, as any SAHM can attest to, this job is not a cushy-sit-on-your-butt-eat-bon-bons-watch-soap-operas-all-day kind of job.
It is more like…
Well, allow me to burst into song for you. Ah-hem.
(Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy.)
Make some eggs and waffles too,
and then I clean the dishes,
Wipe a bum (no, make that two),
The house smells like dead fishes.
Mommy, Mommy clean it up, “Please, let me eat some candy.”
“Mind your mother,” “Bum on the step,” or your bum might feel my hand-y
Dress the boys and wash their hands,
and try to find their shoes,
Pay the bills, get ready for school,
I’m about to blow a fuse!
Mommy, Mommy race to school. Take Asher to his class.
Oh Mommy, forgot your supplies again. Mommy feels like such a (jack) ass.
Race on home and make some lunch,
“Stop feeding that naughty doggie,”
Eat your food, please EAT your food,
“Mommy, my pants feel really soggy.”
“Mommy, Mommy clean me up.” Mommy, do the laundry,
“Gandalf barfed right on the rug,” Lord, keep me from getting bawdry.
“Time for naps. Please take your naps!
Stop playing with your toys.
Zeph lie down, Asher back in bed.
Stop making that weird noise!”
Mommy, Mommy needs a break. But I need to do more cleaning.
Pick up toys, gross, what is that? Sometimes this feels so demeaning.
Up from naps so early today?
No rest for weary Mommy.
Find their shoes and head to a park.
I feel like such a Zombie.
“Mommy, Mommy I want chocolate milk. No, I don’t want to eat my dinner.”
“Eat that food, oh, eat your food. I don’t want you any thinner!”
Daddy, Daddy come home from work,
And save me from our kiddos,
Help me out, please help me out,
(All you Mommies are saying, “Dittos!)
“Mommy, Mommy, I love you. I want to give you kisses.”
Mommy, loves you so much too….now time to do more dishes!
Take a bath and wash your hair.
It’s time to go night-night.
No more tickles, Daddy stop playing around,
Time to turn off their light!
“Mommy, Daddy tuck me in and kiss me on the forehead.
Mommy, Daddy pray with me and put me in my bed!”
Now they’re asleep, wait what was that?
Great, Zephan is up crying.
Thank you Matt for feeding Zeph,
Great Daddy, there’s no denying!
Mommy, Mommy get some sleep because morning is growing nearer.
I love my kids and love this job, but love sleep all the dearer!