Oh my goodness, THANK YOU! I am completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and sympathy on the loss of my dad. It’s been a very difficult couple of weeks, but I have felt loved along the way. Nothing has been able to completely reach that continual ache in my heart, but some things have certainly helped to dull the sting. I thought I would list a few for you in case you are in a similar position, or know of someone who is.
1. Dark Chocolate
Seriously? Need I say more? For the hurting heart, this is a necessity…not a suggestion. Allow me to recommend some of my recent favs.
- Chuao Firecracker Dark Chocolate Bar, Chipotle, Salt and Popping Candy
This bar is fun. It is sweet, savory and carbonated. It wakes up your mouth, makes you giggle, and reminds you that you’re alive.
- Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Covered Pretzel Slims
These things are addictive. They are thin pretzel chips smothered in dark chocolate. I dare you to try and eat just one!
- New Tree Chocolate Bars
- Brie
- Smoked Gouda
- Trader Joe’s 1000 Layer Crackers (Tastes like a savory shortbread cookie.)
- Ak-mak Whole Wheat Crackers
- Twinings Lady Grey Tea
- Stash Decaf Chai Spice Tea
7. Encouraging Words
When we are hurting, a word aptly spoken can be like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11). So many times when someone is grieving, we simply have no idea what to say. We fear saying something stupid or trite and so fumble through our condolences. Here is something a friend said to me that I found perfect:
I never knew your dad all that well, but I know you well, and it tells me all I need to know of him. I am sorry you lost such an amazing man you loved so dearly. You are his ‘Beth Stamp’ on this world, a part of him that he temporarily left behind that speaks to who he was, and I am sure that he looks down on you with more love and pride than you can imagine.
How about you? What helps ease the ache in your heart? Talk to me. I’ve missed ya!!!
Wow, thank you for liking NEWTREE chocolate, and we're very happy to have given you some of the nice moments! 🙂 Be well, and if you are on facebook, we're http://www.facebook.com/newtree.
Greetings from Belgium!
olga (at) newtree (dot) be
I always enjoy reading your blog. This post hit close to home. I lost my wonderful mother a year ago and have spent much of the last year grieving. It has been therapuetic, albeit lonely. I am just coming out of a year-long fog. Some of the things that have provided me with the most comfort have been:
1. acknowledgement from others that I have lost my best friend and I am grieving. I have found this is difficult for some people, but for those who do it…it has been a blessing in my life.
2. Yancey's White Cheddar Cheese with Horseradish from Costco.
3. My daughter's love and presence in my life that will continue my mother's legacy.
4. Chocolate Covered Raisins
5. Panera's Greek Salad
6. My podcasts of the Bob & Sheri show (love their humor).
7. Being with my family in Virginia Beach and concocting a way to move back there!
8. My father's strength and wonderful example of how to live life.
Sorry so long…think I'll blog about this. Thanks for your inspiration.
I'm so sorry about your Dad. My mom died 6 years ago, and it is still hard sometimes. I can remember when the grief was sharp and fresh, and I am so sad that you are going through that right now.
chocolate, a girl after my own heart. so good to see ur smile again 🙂
I'm glad to read about the joy chocolate is bringing you right now. It's the small things that remind us that we can smile and grieve at the same time. I hope that makes sense. Talking and praying definitely helps me through difficult times. Please know I continue to pray for your family.
Thinking of you Beth and sending you big hugs from far away.
XOXO
Jen
Oh, Beth, I'm so sorry about your dad. I can't even begin to know how you are feeling right now. I haven't lost either of my parents & I'm so grateful for the good health of both of them.
I know you are grieving and it will take time & I know you were very close to your Dad. Please know that I'm thinking of you & my prayers are with you. If I was there, I'd give you a big ole' hug. ((((Beth))))))
Beth, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I missed that post. I can't imagine when that day comes in my own family. I'm glad you've found some comfort.
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My mother passed in 2002 at 58 so I know the hurt you are feeling. There is no time line for grief just know we must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~ From a headstone in Ireland
talking eases the hurt for me. being with people who will listen as i ramble on & on remembering.
& lots of laughter as you remember & talk about funny things.
the other thing is the knowing that so many others are praying for me & my family, that always helps so much.
for me – a big plate of mashed potatoes helps, too (with or without gravy)
may you be encouraged by knowing we all care –
Beth, you've been on my heart so much this week…not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about you, prayed for you and just wondered how you're doing. I am glad that you are finding some comfort…however small it may be compared to your loss…to help ease some of the sting of grief.
I don't have any experience losing a parent, but my husband and I did lose our first four children before being extraordinarily blessed with our sweet son. I always loved just being with someone who knew I was hurting and who helped hug me through it, and words of encouragement were also very precious during that time. Also, I agree with you that chocolate can help ease a hurting heart…if only for a little while, but it still helps!
I hope that you are able to face the days ahead with the peace of Jesus, knowing that He is with your sweet father.
Blessings, Grace
Beth,
I lost my brother years ago. What helped me was to remember funny memories of time spent with him. Laughter, for me and my family, has always helped, even when I can't laugh, but it might just bring a smile. Sometimes I'm afraid people might think I'm being irreverant when I bring up a funny memory instead of a serious "what a godly/good/wonderful/ect person…", but I think that those who have passed on would like to hear that we can still laugh.
That's why, on the FB site, I posted the bubble bath comment. 🙂
For you, I wish you peace, comfort, and laughter, or at least a smile now and then.
I was glad to see you posted ~ I was thinking of sending you an email yesterday but didn't want to intrude. Chocolate always helps me out. Although I haven't been through what you are going through, when I am sad or down I do like to watch comedies {movies} and eat chocolate or cheese and pretzels {GF, of course}.
Oh Beth, I am so very sorry for your loss. Dads are love, support, comfort, and memories. I'm happy you are finding a little bit of comfort in the treasures around you. Chocolate is always a must, you're so right.
Where I "come from", we would almost smother you in comfort foods, cards, phone calls and offers to help you with just about anything you needed done. I think the sweetest thing someone did for me when I lost my dad was that they sat down with me and cried with me. Their heart was broken for me in my loss as my heart was broken. No words necessary.
Dear Beth,
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful family. I have only been reading your blog for a few months but adore it and you! I started reading your Dad's blog and words fail to convey what a truly amazing person he was. Though so ill still eloquent and inspiring and comforting others. Thank you for sharing those beautiful words from your friend, how true they are. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
xxx xxx
Time with those who understand my grief is always a balm, laughter…and some chocolate 🙂 Such a sweet post, honest and real. Isn't life funny in that those times of intense pain we can also experience intense joy? I've often thought that those who avoid pain never truly experience true joy….
Sound like you're doing what you can, embracing the grief of losing one so precious, and yet embracing life as you go forward. I'm proud of you!
I think your friend said it just perfectly. Our children are the reflection of us and I'm sure your dad admired his 'reflection' more then you'll ever know.
I love your list and most certainly time should be on there too but I've also found that doing EXACTLY what you feel like doing WHEN you feel like doing it helps too. If you get the urge to laugh- don't hold back. If you want to run 2 miles just because- go run. If you don't do something that you have the urge to do it I feel like it keeps the grief inside.
I hope your list helps you in your grief & I'm so glad you feel loved by all of us- because we DO love you 🙂
Beth, Your friend is so right, you are the part of your father that is left behind and because he is always with you, you will be able to move on in time always having that special place in your heart for him. I think this is what he would want for you. A walk on God's beautiful beach would definitely be the answer for me or a stroll thru the woods.
I lost both of my parents within 10 days of each other and time heals all hurts and sorrows.
Barbara
Hi Beth- I have been reading your blog for awhile and am so deeply sorry for your loss. I find it so hard to find the right words to say to someone in this position. I lost my little brother just a few months ago and still have yet to find the words to express how I feel myself about it let alone anyone else. I do truly hope that you find the way to get through this with your strong self still intact. I can tell you have a big heart and am sure he will live on with you in your heart forever. For now I find my peace in talking to my brother. Chocolate is a great help and I totally agree with the tea as well. My favorite for those "days" is gingersnap tea. It's calming and has a zesty kick to it as well that helps to turn my mood around.
I wish only the best for you and your family as you move through this process and only hope that you all will find the peace he would have wanted you all to have.
I know I am basically a stranger to you but know you have a friend in me who understands and wishes only the best for you!
My hearts aches for you! I am so sorry for the lose of your dad. One thing that helps me is looking around and seeing all the many things that are my blessings. I try and write down 10 things a day that I am grateful for. It helps when you are struggling and can't remember.
Another thing is hurt. It is ok. You need to ache so that you can grieve. Give it time and your heart will heal. Also chocolate!
Beth, I am more than sorry about your Dad and all you're going through. Your post today shows what a positive person you are and I think it's great! We need the little things to comfort, pamper and spoil us when we're hurting. Thanks for reminding me of that. God bless you and all your family! ♥♥♥Laurie@SceneoftheGrime.blogspot.com
You certainly write beautifully. I think sometime when our hearts are sad we can pour those emotions out so beautifully and you sure did! You like most all of my favorites too! I like Earl Grey but the Mrs. is delightful too! Thanks for sharing and stop by my post for Spiritual Sunday. It may give you a nice reflection on your dad. Blessings & Hugs for my friend! Thanks Beth!
The gift of time, and some quiet time to reflect. And on the other end of the spectrum, to stay super productive has helped me a great deal in the past. You'll feel low anyway but you'll get an extra high doing something with your time.
Thinking of you, Beth. xo
Donna
http://www.funkyjunkinteriors.blogspot.com/
Glad to see your post here today! Love all the chocolate you shared with us, and have never tried Lady Grey tea. I love Earl Grey, so I'll probably like this too. As for smoked Gouda–well I practically invented it, after all I am Dutch. ;P
Still thinking of you and praying…
we all have missed you too!
your list sounds like a little haven in itself. cheese to me is always good & of course chocolate. and gosh, the beach is perfect when your heart aches. i like going for drives & looking at houses or gardens. i get lost in ideas. and i think that is where you kind of want to be @ this point. lost in beauty, lost in ideas, lost in pleasures here on earth. anything that eases YOUR pain & heart my dear friend = do it!
i know all have referred to your friend, but she is right. i love having my "beth stamp" fix. visiting your blog is always like stepping inside your house for a chat & a snack. you never know what you're going to get.
take care friend. above all take all the time you need. many hugs!
My Memaw passed away almost 4 years ago and I still have trouble dealing with it.
I do turn to chocolate a lot 🙂 I like Muddy Buddies, they make any bad day better!
My heart goes out to you, Beth. To love and be loved is the best thing in the world, and you have both. You are blessed. My step Mom who I LOVE dearly, lost her beautiful mother today and I really appreciate the advice as to what I can do to ease her pain just a tiny bit. Thank you and I'm praying and thinking of you and your family.
Still praying for you.
Heidi
I'm glad you are finding a little comfort. And to find the strength to write such a lovely post when you are hurting so much just shows how strong you are. The comment from your friend is amazing and such a true thing to say. (((Hugs)))
I would have to say talking about it helps me when my heart is hurting. Knowing I have someone to listen and validate my feelings always seems to help. And I would love to have a tub like yours… my goodness… I would be in that beauty every day! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!
~Jennifer
I have followed your blog for some time. You have a unique gift to express yourself that I swear I hear you talking to me. I love the picture of you and your Dad -you resemble him-You are his " Beth Stamp" what a wise friend you have that shared such kind words. -Ah the friendship of women and the love of family . The beach does bring such peace to our souls .
I believe it was your parents that encouraged your love of the beach and the peace and calm the sun and waves can bring -((Hugs))
I was hoping I would get a 'good dose' of Beth soon! This is a perfect post because it truly is a list of comfort goodies for those times when we need it.
I hope you are doing well. The healing takes a long while but keeping busy helps. I am always here for you.
xoxo
Jane
I've missed you to Beth. My thoughts and prayers have and will continue to be with your family. I checked out your father's blog and the world will truly be at a loss without him. So thankful he left us his "Beth Stamp".
I'm very much a stress eater. So that's usually my first-aid to a broken heart. Chocolate Malts from Steak and Shake are the best! {Although, your carbonated chocolate treat has me intrigued}. Music, poetry and books on loss are often a great source of comfort to me as well. It just reminds me that I'm not alone in this journey called grief. I can send you a list of music, books,etc that helped me.
((Gentle hugs))
Lisa
I can't believe you can write such a warm hearted post when your heart is heavy. You still remain in my prayers. What a sweet thing your friend said. So fitting.
My fave thing when I am sad is hot chocolate and lots of comedy movies. Also you should try brie w/ cranberry jam, sharp cheddar & turkey (maybe a little purple onion too). Very good balance of sweet, savory & salty.
dear friend~
that was a really sweet comment from your friend. for me it was all of these things (excepts milk chocolate, not dark) and simply time.
i love the "safari in your mouth" so much that i had to go share it with my sister. i wish i would've coined that, because it's really hilarious. i've been out for the day and am looking for a little snack–a safari in my mouth is just what i need, and i'm going to go downstairs and find it. in addition to your brie & gouda (YUM), i also LOVE goat cheese. i have that downstairs, too. 🙂 i also love the mini wheat crackers from TJ's.
My condolences on the loss of your Father. We are here to listen and to give you words of encouragement.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.