I originally posted this back in March, but I think I had around 10 followers then, so chances are good you never read it. I’m currently typing this at the side of my father’s bed. He looks peaceful. His breathing is steady. His color is good. He looks like someone recovering from surgery or an illness…but I know he is not recovering. I know his breaths will soon become farther spaced until they eventually stop.
I arrived home at a perfect time. He was still conscious then and was able to smile at me and tell me he loved me…a few hours later and that would not have been the case. So many of you are writing to me with sweet words of encouragement and questions as to how I am doing. I obviously hate everything about this, but I am okay. I was so well loved by my father, and I feel the love from my Heavenly Father. Thank you for your prayers. They are holding me up.
Liquid skies of fuchsia bubbling over blue,
Grace @ Ruby Moon Designs says
What beautiful words, and what a great reminder. I am thinking about you/praying for you today.
Blessings, Grace
Lovely Scribbles says
Love this, Beth! So, so beautiful. I'm still praying for you, girl.
Anonymous says
I'm In!
Sunrise and Sunset, a constant reminder of our lives, silently bringing in new life and then lovingly hold life while we silently leave. I have been down this road. I send Love and silent prayers for all of your family at this hard time. Hugs.
whitey says
I to held my Dad's and at passing, coming up on three years now. It is an unforgettable experience as my daughter said it was "A little b bit of Heaven to see him on his way".
A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN
HIS LAST JOURNEY HERE ON EARTH
WAS SPENT WITH HIS FAMILY BY HIS SIDE
FROM THE YOUNGEST TO THE OLDEST
WE STAYED WITH HIM
TILL THE LAST GOODBYE
A CHANCE TO SEE
THE GATES OF HEAVEN OPEN
TO LET HIM IN
A PEACEFUL TRANSITION
IN THE EARLY MORNING LIGHT
A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN
TO SEE HIM ON HIS WAY
~Crystal~ says
What a beautiful post. Thank you!
foggogs says
It is interesting to see how time is so different for everyone. Your son has trouble measuring it and you are painfully aware of the passing of each second. I am glad to hear your dad is in a peaceful state. It would only make it harder to see him in pain. I am praying for you.
Sylvia (at) Lily's Pad and Petals says
Such a sweet and touching post. I know too well what you are going through – as I know you are treasuring the time you have with your father as you should. Stay strong, pray, pray and pray again and I will pray that you find peace.
Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions says
I am glad to hear that you made it back while he was conscious. I am sure you are thankful for that, too. I'll be praying for your family and I think it will be a big help to all of you that you're around each other.
Taija says
Beth
As I read your blog my heart aches because your situation is all too real to me. Just last June I sat at my grandfather's bed side as cancer was taking him from us. I'm sure it is all the more difficult having it be your father. I am so glad that you are letting your faith carry you through. This poem meant so much to me last June. Much love and prayers. Taija
Gone From My Sight
by Henry Van Dyke
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone"
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me — not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"
And that is dying…
Death comes in its own time, in its own way.
Death is as unique as the individual experiencing it.
Jemsmom says
I'm in! What a beautiful thing for you to write. You are an amazing woman and how blessed is your father to have such a wonderful daughter. I went through this with my mother and I know what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Patricia says
May God continue to bless you Beth ~ Patricia
Magic Brush says
My grandmother passed away 2 years ago. I was as close to her as my mother. I got there after she was already unconscious which was sad. But our entire family stayed with her all night… until as the sun rose in the morning, someone in the room noticed she was gone. She slipped away just as the sun rose and that's exactly how she would have wanted it. It was so peaceful. The Lord gave me complete peace that morning… and it sustained me. I hope you will have the same. I am sure it feels unbearable…. just keep leaning on the one who can hold you up. God Bless you.
Amanda @ Serenity Now says
Love and hugs to you and your sweet family, Beth.
Chelsy@ Sweet Pea Kisses says
Wow! That's beautiful. I'm praying for peace in comfort for you and your family.
handbags*n*pigtails says
Praying for you and your family still. And Im so glad you are able to be there with your dad. How precious that he was knew you and was able to tell you he loved you. You'll remember that forever. Blessings during a very sad time.
Sarah
Bridget says
Beautiful post! I thank God many times a day for the beauty He sends us. Sometimes the beauty is small and sometimes it's mighty. May peace be with you during this difficult time. God is near, as always.
rhineharts says
Hi Beth! Though I know all of your family, I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you yet…I love this blog you have though and you really inspire me! I wanted to drop you a line as I have your sisters and your mom to let you know that I am continually covering you all in prayer as I know so many others are. This surely isn't the way any of us wanted your father to go, but we know that God has perfect timing and will call your father when His time is right. I pray for peace that will come and comfort you all in that moment when you say goodbye and that you will not only feel God's love, but that of all of those coming before the throne on behalf of the Crabtree family to hold you up and give you strength.
Jennifer says
I AM IN! What beautiful words God has inspired you to write! I am praying that you feel HIS love more now than ever.
this blessed nest says
even in the most challenging issues of life, you have such grace – beth! you are amazing. what a blessing for your mom for you to be there with her. many prayers for you & your precious family.
Carmen says
What an incredibly wonderful post! The poem is so pensive and deep. It reflects so much of my own thoughts right now. I'm thinking of you all, knowing that you are at peace with his journey; knowing that you'll see him again one day. It doesn't make it any easier, but it is a comfort. My thoughts are with you.
PS: That sunrise photo is amazing!
Jensamom23 says
What a beautiful post, Beth. How true the words of the poem are. God's strength is amazing and will continue to embrace you and your family.
Blondie's Journal says
Beth~~~
I feel some of your pain…I sat with my mother. It's not easy but I truly hope the ones I love are by my side when my time comes. You are doing the right thing and it take incredible strength. But do take care of yourself…
Your poem is beautiful, as is the story of how you tried to impress the idea of sunrise and sunset on your son. You are a fantastic mother and daughter. My prayers go out to your family.
xoxo
Jane
~Country Lady~ says
I'm in! Thank you for sharing this special reflection with us. My prayers continue to be with you and your family. May God's arms be securely around you…comforting and strengthening you. Hugs to you friend.
Annesphamily says
Beth what a beautiful post! I think sometime we get so caught up with forget to look at the little things. As I crawled into bed last night the moon was so full it blinded my eyes. I had to close the curtain on the window so I could get my rest! But I laid there thinking God is so incredible. Know you are so loved. If you have a moment check my posts. I wrote one about you last week and yesterday one about Linda at Prairie Flower Farms. She lost her dad yesterday. Blessings to you & I love the sunset and the beautiful words you wrote.
Pam says
Beautiful pic. Sorry about your father, you, your father and family are in my prayers.