I don’t typically get too personal on my blog because I don’t believe that most of you visit me to hear what’s going on in my life. However, today is a difficult day for me and I wanted to share a bit of my heart with you. February 28th marks the anniversary of my dad’s death. He was a truly amazing man and even though it’s been three years since he died, I still can’t believe he is permanently gone. I miss him terribly and this time of year is always challenging. The profile picture I use on my blog and facebook page is the one you see below. It comforts me to know that my dad is right here with me in all of my creative pursuits. He was an avid DIY’er and he would be so proud to see all I have accomplished over the last several years!
Nearly to the day, one year after my dad’s passing, we lost our 6 year old Keeshond, Gandalf, to diabetes. He was a beautiful and fun dog and we had him for much too short of a time. I never even blogged about his death because it was just all too depressing for me to talk about at the time. The day we brought Gandalf home as a pup was the day I learned I was pregnant with my firstborn, Asher. Gandalf was a high maintenance dog and really gave us a crash course in parenting during those 9 months and helped prepare us to become parents. He was a precious member of the family and we still miss him very much.
A few weeks after Gandalf died, I brought Eowyn home to help fill the void we were all feeling. Eowyn looked so much like Gandalf did as a pup but was tinier and sweeter…but still sassy! She has been the best impulse buy that I ever made. We adore her. (And if you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you already know how much we adore her :).)
Two weeks ago, I was feeling very blue so innocently began looking online at Pomeranian puppies to cheer myself up.
Well, looking somehow turned into a visit to the breeder…
…And a visit of course sealed the deal! I fell in love with Pippin immediately and decided that I couldn’t live without him. With my husband’s reluctant blessing, I brought Pippin home to be the newest member of our family. He is so incredibly precious! He is feisty, sassy, adorable, and smart. He is everything I look for in a pup and more:). And he has blue eyes, white whiskers, and pink paws which just make him all the more lovable.
Eowyn is still adjusting to Pippin but they play nicely together and occasionally snuggle. They fight over the same toys and Pippin bullies his big sister into giving him her rawhides. I think they will be inseparable in another week or so!
My husband sent me the following cartoon yesterday and said, “Honey, I love you but we can’t buy a puppy every February.” I think he’s a bit concerned that I might be developing a pattern here. I assured him that as long as no one else dies in my life, I should be good with two pups. If I experience another big loss, all bets are off though!
Puppy kisses are the best form of daily therapy that I can ever imagine. I feel so blessed to have these two furry creatures in our lives and appreciate all they teach me about unconditional love and the silver lining to every difficult day.
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Hello! I, too, am a dog lady. We currently have 5 but could change at any moment. Just a suggestion….there ARE many good responsible breeders out there but there are 10 times the number of rescues with tons of dogs waiting for their forever homes. Sometimes, if you want a specific dog it does take a little longer to find the dog you want, but its possible. My last rescue is a 5.5 lb long haired dachshund given up by her owner because she was shocked at the amount of
Work a puppy needed…..
Please know, I am NOT judging as I have bought my Great Danes from a world renowned breeder so I know they are out there. Just a thought.
My family has fostered over 125 dogs and puppies on their way from the local shelter to a forever home. My friend recently adopted a 5lb Yorkie from our local shelter after fostering him. It’s a wonderful way to give back….good luck with your baby….BTW, we fostered two mutts last summer we named Kate and Pippen!
I’m so sorry about your dad. It sounds like you had a great relationship. Your new pup is just too cute!
Hi Beth, I just wanted to say that you and your family (including Eowyn and Pippin) are so beautiful. I agree with some of the other readers – I love to read stories about your life. It makes you seem more real and someone I could easily be friends with. Thanks for sharing your stories. And I too am sorry you lost your Dad – he looked like he was so full of joy!
We are kindred spirits. I ended up with a new puppy a few weeks ago, much in the same way. I have loved seeing your new pup on vine. There is something so comforting about dogs. Thanks for sharing – we do come here for home decor, but mostly we come here to see you!!
Thanks so much Samantha ;). I appreciate hearing that! Congrats on your new adorable jack russell pup :). I saw your baby running around on Vine as well!
So sorry I didn’t get over here yesterday, but I am so sorry that yesterday marked such an incredibly hard day for you. I love that the picture on your profile is the one with him, i don’t think I ever made that connections before. Wishing you had more time with your Dad but so glad you have such a sweet husband with you who is okay with another sweet pup! Take care, Laura
Thanks friend :). I appreciate you stopping by and leaving me a sweet comment.
I have been without my dad for too many years to count. He was a carpenter, and every time I pick up my hammer for a project I think of him. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and pups!
I think of my dad each time I saw something :). It’s a blessing to share in something that I know he enjoyed doing.
So sorry for your loss, Beth. That puppy is so cute! I have been thinking about adding a puppy to our family, but I always freak out about the mess in the house – chewed toys, shoes, rugs – and the accidents. I am making myself get over it because I know how wonderful dogs are, and how therapeutic they can be. How do you deal with it? I am thinking of taking up meditation 🙂
Ha! Yes, those things don’t sound very therapeutic do they? In my experience, if you are super vigilant and consistent in the first month of your “newborn” pup then those mishaps don’t happen often and the training lasts a lifetime. Pippin isn’t fully potty trained yet in the one week I’ve had him but we’ve had very few accidents and he is totally catching on. He has tried to chew on the rug a few times but already understands the word no and I have about 20 dog toys and a few rawhides available for him to keep busy and entertained. It’s a commitment for sure but I don’t mind it.
It will be 3 years in September since we lost my sweet mother-in-law. She was my biggest cheerleader and I miss her everyday and with everything that I do. So I can fill your pain with the loss of your father. Hugs to you! Puppies are a wonderful thing they always love us. Enjoy them!
Congrats on the new pup! The cartoon is hilarious. I’ve had that same conversation with my husband, but even the strongest manly man cannot turn away a brand new puppy.
I lost my Dad a year into my marriage (nine years now). It was a difficult time for my family as he was still young (47) and it was very unexpected. My father and I had a strained relationship, but it still hurt just the same. I found myself grieving for all he things I might have had or that could have been with him. Every life milestone has been felt with his absence.
The funeral home offered grief counseling. I went to support my mother and found myself working through more pain than I imagined. The final evening, we wrote a letter to our lost loved ones, and I really didn’t expect it to do anything. Then, the emotions overwhelmed me and all at once- I had closure. All the pain of our relationship was written out and in those words, it was gone and forgiven. As of now, I only remember the good. I don’t carry around the angry words spoken, and brokenness we experienced while he was alive. Just the good.
He died when I was 21. The previous years were filled with teenage rebellion, confusion, salvation, and then more confusion. I found myself unable to have a conversation with my father. He didn’t understand my new life as a Christian, and he was even angry about it. The last time I saw my Dad was the first conversation I had with him in 3 years that went well. I found myself so overwhelmed with thankfulness; I saw hope for a future, and possibly a new chapter for us.
He died three weeks later.
I was crushed. I was angry at God. I felt like he had begun to turn my Father’s heart toward me and then he took it away. But after time I realized that He was really giving me the greatest blessing of all. The last time I saw my father was a gift. It was wonderful and warm.
And that is what I remember him by.
(okay, I’m a crazy person writing this in your comments while crying at the same time. Obviously, I’m starting my period next week too. )
Jenny, what an amazing testimony of how you made sense of your grief and wrestled through a difficult time. And I totally agree that the Lord gave you a gift in having your last interaction with your dad be a positive one. You’re not crazy at all to share! I think the beauty of our humanity is that all grief touches upon other losses and grief that we’ve felt…which enables us to have empathy and compassion for one another. True gifts! Hugs and chocolate (it always helps when I’m PMS’ing and even when I’m not)!
Beth,
I cannot go to view puppies. Ever. When you said puppy breath, I wanted to go to the nearest shelter and sit!!
Hope your newest addition brings you great joy in the midst of the sadness and the sweet memories.
xo
lynn
Ha! Thant made me giggle :). Pippin is such a little furry blessing. You can’t help but smile when you’re with him :).
Beth, Pippin is so cute. The boys must love to have a new puppy around. Hopefully it will help you through this tough time of year. That cartoon is hysterical!
Thanks Maura! We are so enjoying him ;).
It’s been awhile but I sure do think of you and your family often. Our dads are together in heaven.
We actually have my dad’s dog “Cody” living and loving with us now. The closest thing to him!
Take good care. When are you coming to NY?
Hi Lauralee, Good to hear from you again girl! Thanks for dropping by and blessings to you too.
That photo of you and your dad is wonderful! You both look so happy. I’m sorry that you lost him much too soon. I can certainly understand how a dog’s love can help you through hard times. We have a 12-year old collie mix who is literally my shadow, and we lost our 14 year-old black lab last year at this time (so incredibly painful still!). I’m happy that you found a new little love to add to your family! Enjoy your new puppy! xo ~ Kerri
Thanks Kerri! So sorry about your pup :(. Losing a pet is such a hard thing to walk through.
Aww! So happy for you! One year ago, I was feeling sad too & brought home a gorgeous little puppy named Pippin! 🙂 She often cheers me up & warms my heart when I’m sad.
How fun that you have a Pippin as well :)!
You know, we got our dog in a very similar way. 🙂 Four months after our only son was stillborn, my mother-in-law called me from the grocery store where a woman had an adorable little stray that she was looking for a home for. All our aching hearts needed a little something to cuddle, so I loaded up my girls and drove across town to bring him home. A little over a year later and my girls can’t remember life before Lucky. Fur babies can definitely help.
Lucky. What a perfect name! Thanks for sharing your sweet story :).
I totally know what you mean! What a sweet new baby you have! That is a cute cartoon! LOL!
Totally cracked me up because if allowed I would probably turn into a “crazy dog lady”! LOL!
Dear Blog Friend, My heart certainly goes out to you for your losses. I was in a similar situation & we must be kindred spirits, because I turned to a K-9 go get through it as well! My hubby bought me a King Charles Cavalier & we named him “Sam” {also from Lord of the Rings!} because he reminds me of a little hobbit. He was the best birthday gift I ever received. Love your darling puppies!
Warmly, Michelle
Aw, how sweet! We are kindreds Michelle :).
Beautiful post. I think pets are wonderful gifts from God.
Well spoken Katie. They truly are gifts! I know some people aren’t “pet people” but my little poms get me out of bed on the mornings I just want to sleep the day away. They remind me of the beauty and laughter in life.
Beth, I remember so well when your dad died. I visited his blog and read many of his posts. He was an extremely inspiring man. I know you and Kim and your younger sister all miss him dreadfully. I’m glad you all have one another!
Your pups with their wonderful Tolkien names are all adorable. I thought Eowyn was unbeatably cute, but now I’m not sure–Pippin gives her a run for her money! There’s nothing like a puppy kiss to brighten a sad day.
God bless you, friend!
Thanks for loving me all of these many years Richella :). I’m blessed to have your encouragement in my life!
Awww what a beautiful post and tribute to your dad 🙂 I’m so sure he is smiling down on you:)
oh I love this, Beth! Thanks for sharing your heart with us – so sorry to hear about this time of year being so hard for you 🙁 But I REALLY understand the puppy/doggy love, and I am DYING to get another dog!! My husband tells me we should have our baby first and see how we adjust…THEN maybe we can think about another dog haha 🙂 I looove all of the pictures – and my hubby loves the LOTR names! 🙂
Ha! Yes, we’re LOTR nerds :). Tell your hubs that the dog will prepare you for parenting. It really does!
This is exactly why between my Mom, Sister and I we have 12 dachshunds! We had two when my father died…and we just kept getting more. They saved us. They don’t all live in the same house by the way. Although when my Mom lived with me recently after heart surgery…I had seven in the house….total craziness…wonderful craziness. My dogs have saved my life…every time something bad happens…it is them that pull me through. When one of them died suddenly over a year and a half ago….I was devastated…but after a few months adopted a rescue. I decided something good had to come out of the bad. Having a puppy in the house cheered us all up…that is me and the other three dogs. One of my dogs was VERY depressed after the loss of his brother. I think getting a puppy is the very best possible therapy.
Well you know I agree :). Have fun with all of those sweet fur babies!
What a beautiful post Beth. I’m sorry you are having a hard day, that is a tough anniversary to deal with. I’m glad that you have two cute puppies to help cheer you up. I know they made me smile today, the pictures are just adorable. 🙂
Thank you sweet Kara!
I’m glad that the new puppy is helping to sooth the ache a little Beth. I’m sorry for the loss your family continues to deal with. I’t’s wonderful that your hubby is so supportive and understanding though. A good partner makes life so much sweeter and simply bearable at times too 🙂 Enjoy those puppy kisses!!
So true! My husband just lost a friend and coworker last night unexpectedly and although he wasn’t thrilled with getting another dog I think the furry puppy distraction is offering him some comfort right now as well.
It’s been many years since my Mum passed away. It gets easier with time but it’s always hard when you’ve loved and lost. Thank you for sharing and I’ll definitely be popping back in to see how your new addition to the family is doing…too cute!!
Thanks so much Denise!
I have been reading your blog for a long time and never knew you had a keeshond. We just lost our 11 year keeshond one month ago. It was so hard saying goodbye to our faithful family member. They are such good dogs those keeshonds. We have so far resisted with filling the void, so far:) But I think my husband and my children will win this battle. We just needed our hearts to heal first. Congratulations on your newest addition to your family!
He snuck his way into a few of my earlier posts. You can see him here, here, and here and a bunch of other places. Keeshonds are the best! My husband would actually like to get another someday so perhaps we’ll be a family with three dogs at some point :).
Beth, Thanks so much for sharing. I lost my dad in December and it is so difficult. I think my black lab, whom I love dearly, senses my sadness. It’s nice having the distraction of his playful nature at this time in my life. I love the cartoon! It looks exactly like my house..especially the one with the dog on his back.. 🙂
So sorry for your loss Mary Anne. And yes, I’m sure your lab senses that you’re sad. I’m so glad Spring is on the horizon for us all.
You’re wrong Beth I love a glimpse into your life!! You have a beautiful family, and your new addition is adorable. I can’t believe it’s been 3 years WOW, I remember it was melanoma, which caught my attention. You are in my thoughts and prayers today dear friend.
And YES I’m sure your Dad is VERY proud of you.
God bless…..
You’ve always been such an encourager to me Kathy. Thanks so much for your sweet words over the years.
That was beautiful. It’s refreshing to catch a glimpse of the humanity/vulnerability of those we “see” online.
I, too, have lost my dad and, like you, my dogs bring such joy to my home. I have often said that my Corgi should work at a suicide hotline. You just can’t look into that face and be sad (for long).
Thanks for sharing. May thoughts of your dad and Gandalf bring a smile to your face today!
Blessings!
Corgis always make me giggle with their stubby little legs and cute smiley faces :). Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to share a comment with me!
Your pups are so sweet and I can imagine how much joy they bring you, especially during such difficult times. I’m so sorry about your Dad…I can tell in the photos what a loving man he was. I’m sure like you said, he is with you all the time! 🙂
Thanks Mandy :).